Impact Stories

Debi & Jennie

When I was 14, I had big dreams.  I wanted to be a doctor, an astronaut, a teacher, or anything that would take me out of my cramped trailer park home that I shared with my mother, sister, grandmother, aunt and cousins.  Given my circumstances, none of my dreams seemed attainable. Little did I realize then, how meeting my Big Sister would impact my life she introduced me to the rest of the world.

My Big Sister, Debi, and I were matched in April 1989.  At our first meeting we went out for frozen yogurt.  Over chocolate yogurt with extra sprinkles (of course), I told her I wanted to be a fighter pilot, partly because I desperately wanted to impress her and partly because I had recently seen Top Gun.  The next day she took me to an air show.  Debi often says it was then she realized I was not an average kid.  We bonded immediately and embarked on a lifelong sisterhood.

My most precious memories with Debi are the simple, everyday activities that wedid together.  Sometimes she would simply invite me to run errands with her.  While running between the dry cleaner and the car wash and taking her dog for walks, we talked about everything under the sun.  She made me a part of her everyday life; she always made me feel safe and appreciated.  Since I often felt lost in the shuffle at home, it was an amazing gift to have an adult’s undivided attention.  I quickly felt that I could confide my deepest thoughts in her.

Debi supported me through all of my high school angst, teaching me valuable lessons along the way.  During high school, I tried out for junior varsity basketball.  I did make the team, though I spent the majority of the season warming the bench.  However, Debi encouraged me to finish out the season, teaching me that there is value and pride in finishing and meeting my commitments to others.  She attended nearly all of my home games and was the team’s loudest cheerleader.  Even when I doubted my own abilities, Debi’s display of loyalty and commitment taught me that I did not always have to be the best at something to be successful. She inspired me to always persevere and believe in myself.  Her guidance and love helped me to see that getting pregnant and dropping out of high school did not have to be my destiny.  I could discover my own path and do whatever I wanted.

We mostly spent our time going to out to dinner and shopping.  It was in restaurants and dressing rooms that we gabbed and giggled about the challenges of puberty, including sex, drugs, violence, and first loves.  In addition to this regular dose of quality time, Debi sought to expose me to a variety of new experiences and adventures.  We took road trips to the beach and Disney World.    In addition, she brought me to countless arts and music festivals, concerts, movies, plays, and University of Florida sporting events.  I was often resistant to participating in the “less-than-cool” activities, but Debi gently encouraged me to continually try new things.  In time, I began to open my mind to other cultures and ideas outside of my comfort zone.  Only as an adult can I truly appreciate the value of these experiences.

One occasion stands out as a pivotal event in my life. Debi told me that she was taking me out to my favorite restaurant, but first we were attending a poetry reading. As a teenager, I must admit I was only interested in dinner.  However, the poetry reading proved to be a turning point for me, one that even Debi did not anticipate.  That evening, I heard Maya Angelou read from her own moving poetry and speak candidly about her life and personal struggles. It was then that I stopped feeling sorry for myself; I decided that if Maya Angelou could make her dreams come true, then so could I!  I decided to look toward my future and began making positive changes in my life.  I applied myself in school and vowed to graduate on time.  When I graduated from high school, Debi’s gift to me was an autographed copy of I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings, personalized by Maya Angelou herself.  This book remains one of my most cherished possessions.  I often refer to it in times of doubt or change to regain the perspective I need to take the next step.

Like many recent high school graduates, I was lost after graduation, trying to “find myself.”  Graduating high school was such an accomplishment to me that I never anticipated what would be next.  I attended community college for a few years, dropping as many classes as I completed. While our match was long since ‘officially’ over, Debi and I continued to develop our friendship. Looking back, I believe this was a frustrating time for Debi, but she continued to patiently encourage me to move forward.

At age 20, my life drastically changed when my mother died suddenly of cancer.  I was devastated; I thought my world had ended.  As always, Debi was there for me, providing a safe place to cry and grieve. As I emerged from my grief, I realized that life was precious and I wanted to make the most of mine!  Again, Debi gently prodded me to face the world. With her love and support, I mustered the courage to transfer to Flagler College and seriously pursue my studies.

Throughout my undergraduate career, Debi’s support never wavered, even as her own life began to change.  During my first semester at Flagler, I was honored to stand in Debi’s wedding as she married a most incredible man, William.  Though she embarked on her own married life, my place in Debi’s life was never compromised.  Together, Debi and William invited me warmly into their new family.  I continued to “return home” from school and celebrate vacations and holidays in their home throughout my college career.

Since then, Debi and I have shared in many of my own life-altering events.  She attended my college graduation, again as the loudest cheerleader.  She helped me prepare as I relocated to Washington, D.C. to pursue my career and graduate studies at American University.  Two years later, she topped even her own cheering abilities as I walked across the stage and received a Masters Degree in Public Administration.  The following week, Debi and William hosted the rehearsal dinner for one of the most memorable events of my life, my wedding.  The next afternoon, they walked me down the aisle.  During this emotional time, they did not try to replace my parents, yet it was natural for them to fill this role.

Throughout everything, Debi’s guidance and support remained one of the only constants in my life.  I credit my open mind, love for life, and my desire to never stop learning to her.  Simply put, she cannot understand the extent to which she has impacted my life, except to look at the accomplished woman I have become.  Thank you to Big Brothers/Big Sisters.  You allowed me to discover a life-long best friend…a sister.

Leon and Tetoee

When Tetoee Howard was 10 years old, he dreamed of learning to water-ski. A curious boy who was eager to try new things, Tetoee (pronounced tee-toe) was also challenged by being legally blind due to a genetic disorder.

Enter Leon Larson.
Leon was eager to help a child increase his self-confidence and provide him with new opportunities. He also just happens to have a background in teaching water-skiing.

“My wife encouraged me to become involved with Big Brothers Big Sisters, but I was thinking I was too old,” recalls Leon. “Maybe a Big Grandfather instead of a Big Brother was more like it.”

The age difference notwithstanding, the Gainesville, Florida, pair was matched in 1998, and since then, they have developed an incredible, long-term friendship. Leon was also named the 2004 Big Brother of the Year during the BBBS National Conference Centennial Celebration in New York City.
“We hit it off right from the beginning,” says Leon. “Tetoee’s being visually impaired posed an additional challenge in planning activities, but we handled it. If we went to the movies, we’d sit in the front row so he could see the screen. If we went to the performing arts center, I would bring binoculars so that he would be able to see the actors and dancers on the stage.”
Leon also shared his passion for African drumming with Tetoee, and sparked an amazing natural talent in his Little Brother. Tetoee is now part of an adult drumming group, and has even helped out with workshops to teach drumming to other children.

“Tetoee has performed with me throughout the state of Florida,” says Leon proudly. “In 1999, he was part of a benefit where he performed with Chuck Davis, the leader of the internationally renowned African American Dance Ensemble.

“And two years ago, Tetoee opened the Black History Month celebration at his high school with a solo performance in front of his peers. His dad and I were in the audience, and it brought us both to tears.”

From the start, Leon has looked past Tetoee’s physical limitations and instead focused on his tremendous potential. He encourages Tetoee to pursue whatever he dreams of doing.

Even water skiing.
“When Tetoee applied to BBBS, he mentioned that he wanted to learn how to water ski. It was a perfect match, because I had worked with handicapped skiers in the past,” says Leon.
“Tetoee turned out to be a natural athlete. He was one of the very few people in my 35 years of coaching who got up the very first time he tried to water ski, and he skied around the lake without falling. I thought, ‘Wow, this kid has got some real potential!’”

Leon is equally impressed with the strength of character that 16-year-old Tetoee consistently displays. He recalls a recent episode when Tetoee had an opportunity to attend a drumming workshop with a very accomplished drummer.

“Tetoee tried to get someone to substitute for him at work so he could go to the workshop, but he could not. So what did Tetoee do? He went to work. Many kids would’ve blown off work, but he accepted the responsibility.”

A young man of few words, Tetoee is nonetheless quick to share his gratitude for the opportunities and experiences he has shared with his Big Brother.

“Even though I’m visually impaired, Leon has opened my eyes to many things – drumming, water skiing, meeting new people. He’s made me think I can go out do anything – even jump out of an airplane!” he says. “It’s like I’m floating on a cloud when I’m with Leon.

“My dad told me if you have one best friend, your life is doing good,” Tetoee adds. “I have found my best friend.”

“Over the past six-and-a-half years, Tetoee and I have formed a tremendous friendship, and I’ve got to thank Tetoee’s dad, Reginald, for the privilege of getting to know his son,” says Leon. “Tetoee is growing up very fast and now thinking about the future and college and beyond. I’m very proud of this young man.”

And while he is honored by being named Big Brother of the Year, Leon says, “The experience of working with Tetoee has been ample reward. Tetoee and I will be friends forever.”

To share your Match Story, email it to info@bbbsmidflorida.org.